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DetectingScotland.com - Metal Detecting in Scotland, UK » Forum » Ye Old Digger Bar » Jokes » Fitba daft

Author Topic: Fitba daft  (Read 239 times)

RobertF

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Fitba daft
« on: May 18, 2019, 02:44:31 PM »
A mate of mine was gifted through his work 2 tickets in a corporate box for the Champions League final in Madrid on Saturday 1st June. These tickets are part of a package deal and include flights and a 2 night 5* hotel stay in Madrid city centre. Unfortunately the final is on the same day as his wedding! So if you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.

So it's at Enfield Town Registry Office, at 4pm. The bride's name is Nicola -- she's 5'4", about 8 stone, quite pretty, has her own income and is a really good cook.
.........
Being off work for a few days off I decided to phone up the dentist & try & book an appointment for tomorrow.The receptionist replied "2;30", to which I said "no it doesn't I just wanted a check-up".
..........
I quit my local gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me, "Come on man, you've got to want it!, Come on push. You can do it".
I hate being disturbed when I'm having a dump.
..........
Man goes to the doctor and says, help I've got a lettuce growing out of my bottom.

The doctor bends the man over and takes a look.
"I can see a little leaf..."

The man replies, "that's just the tip of the iceberg."
« Last Edit: May 18, 2019, 02:46:26 PM by RobertF »
Remember!...The bad times make the good times...Great times!!